Nothing beats the feeling of yarn running across my fingers, watching the project take shape before my eyes and the eventual satisfaction of the finished product. While this is no where near my biggest accomplishment in life, which I like to think would be my giving birth and managing to keep the subsequent children alive all this time, I still feel like giving myself a tiny, private high five every time I complete what I set out to accomplish. I have only produced 4 hats to date, but with each one, I can feel my skill and confidence growing. I can feel that confidence spilling out into the rest of my life, which I think is the most exciting part of the whole process for me.
Those of you who know me well enough, know I struggled with depression for a good majority of my adult life. I admitted early on that while I wanted to deal with it on my own, I owed it to my then one year old child, to seek help. This resulted in a medication to regulate my moods and I have to admit it was successful. (see -> hopefully stable, well adjusted 9 year old) I finally decided I was ready to come off of the medication and get a handle on myself as a now mature, capable woman. This proved to be a more difficult task than first anticipated, but the end result was a drug free me and a beautiful little girl the medication was preventing me from conceiving.
Most of the time I am making it calmly and assuredly through life, but I occasionally have days where I feel as if I'm slipping, and the thought of going back onto the medication seems like a good idea. It's days like these where I have to step back, realize how far I have come and all that I have as a result of that. It's days like these when I sit down with a ball of yarn and with every stitch, crochet the doubt away.
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