Oh, aging...how I loathe you.

There was a point, a very long time ago, when I decided I would grow old gracefully. I would let my body take it natural course, going grey and wrinkling as it pleased. I would proudly show off my sagging chin, chest, stomach, knees and ankles. Openly flaunt my ever growing collection of crows feet and stretch marks! I was maybe all of 20 years old when I had this epiphany. Remember 20? Back when we knew everything? Yeah.

As I sit here a much more knowledgeable 31, I realise that I had much different ideas about what "gracefully" meant back then than I do now! I still plan on growing old, it's just that I will more than likely be doing so with a little help.

I find it incredible how a body can change in what seems like such a short time. One day you're 25, a little bit spongy around the mid-section, but still filling out your jeans and t-shirt rather nicely. The next day, you're jamming yourself into whatever (yoga) pants manage to give you the smallest muffin top, while trying to find that bra that makes your mom cakes resemble a passable pair of boobs. Did I mention the whiskers that seemingly pop out of NO WHERE! While I am fully aware of just how alluring this doesn't make me, I have to be true to all of the other whisker sporting ladies out there. They literally sneak up on you. I remember finding my first one, thinking it was simply a misplaced strand from my head, until I pulled on it. Horror of all horrors. I think next to stray nipple hairs, these may be the most traumatising. Nothing says sexy, mature woman like horse hair growing out of your chins. 

Moving along, those silver roots popping out of my noggin can kiss my saggy butt! When a small, sweet little old lady felt the need to utter the words,  "My, you sure have a lot of snow on the roof!", I came to terms with the fact that, a) I am not prepared to go grey gracefully in my early 30's and, b) some sweet little old ladies are actually ass holes. Dye job you are long overdue! 

Don't get me wrong though. while I can live without chin stubble and snowy white locks, I wouldn't change my wrinkles or stretch marks for the world. One thing I had right in my all knowing 20's was the fact that these things would forever let people have a small glimpse at the fullness of my life. Every line on my face and  long gash up my hip and stomach would tell tales of my joy and accomplishments. So instead of gracefully, I choose to grow old comfortably. I may be wearing Spanx under my yoga pants, with a plucked face and obviously colored hair, but I will be smiling the whole way! 

*Photo Credit to The Frisky

10 things I hope my children learn from me

1. Family is the most important thing you will EVER have. No matter what things you acquire throughout your life, nothing can replace family

2. Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold. Next to Family, friends are the people who will help you weave your way through the good and bad in life. They will hold your hand when you are down and throw theirs in the air to rejoice in your success.

3. Friends, part two. Please be careful who you decide to befriend. Always make sure the people you let into your life are helping to make it a better one. Don't let yourself be used.

4. Never cheat people. Try and be as honest in your dealings as possible, whether they are business or personal. What comes around goes around and eventually it will come around to you.

5. Be aware that there is a whole world going on around you. You are not the only one who matters. While you should always take care of yourself, be sure to take care of the ones who surround you too. If not, you may soon find there is no one around.

6.  Money is only a means to survive. You do not need to work yourself to death to have more and more and more. It is nice to have things, but it is nicer to have time to share with the ones you love.

7. The name on the tags of your clothing are of no consequence. It is not the clothes, it is what is inside them that matters. Don't EVER judge someone on their apparel...EVER.

8. You never truly know someone else's circumstance. Be nice. That boy/girl that picks on everyone at school, may be bullied at home. Be nice, please.

9. Try and find a way to give back to the universe. You are blessed with a life of privilege, don't take it for granted.

10. You are special, you are special, you are special. Please make sure you let everyone else you love that              they are too.