I would first like to point out that this article contains triggers for anorexia, bulimia, EDNOS and Self Harm.
Those hashtags on your daughter's photos may seem innocuous, but please don't be fooled. #ana, #mia, #EDNOS, amongst countless others are simply code. After an accidental stumble upon on Instagram, my mind is forever etched with the images of girls striving to be something unattainable. Entire accounts dedicated to pictures of girls they've found online, their thinspiration. In their minds, these girl are perfection.
Occasionally, you will see a photo of the girl herself. Most of the time these pictures are faceless, followed by a barrage of self hate. Statements about how they are fat, ugly, useless, disgusting, failures. Sometimes, comments from others can be found, trying to reason with them, telling them they're not fat. Telling them there is help, explaining that they are beautiful just the way they are. Other times, the comments come from people implying they are only doing this for attention, to get a life, go eat a burger! Still more damaging, to me, are the comments of support from fellow sufferers. Kudos given for progress on their thigh gap. Internet high fives for not eating for the past three days. Offers to be private ana-buddies on kik, which scares me even more than the blatantly exposed interactions of these girls. Our girls are slowly killing each other with words of loving support.
Occasionally, you will see a photo of the girl herself. Most of the time these pictures are faceless, followed by a barrage of self hate. Statements about how they are fat, ugly, useless, disgusting, failures. Sometimes, comments from others can be found, trying to reason with them, telling them they're not fat. Telling them there is help, explaining that they are beautiful just the way they are. Other times, the comments come from people implying they are only doing this for attention, to get a life, go eat a burger! Still more damaging, to me, are the comments of support from fellow sufferers. Kudos given for progress on their thigh gap. Internet high fives for not eating for the past three days. Offers to be private ana-buddies on kik, which scares me even more than the blatantly exposed interactions of these girls. Our girls are slowly killing each other with words of loving support.
Truth be told, this isn't even the most frightening aspect of this online phenomenon. Very often with eating disorders, children will self harm. They may intentionally bruise themselves or cut. It only takes one search of any of the above hashtags on instagram to discover how prevalently these disorders coincide. (Other hashtags to be on the lookout for include #secret_society123, #bloodysecret123 #blithe, #ritzen #showusyourstory, but I advise you to be pepared for very graphic pictures) I often find these accounts are secret, separate from the existing ones parents/you may already know about, with great care taken to keep them safe from prying/loving eyes. Tag lines on the photos will sometimes speak of parents and their need to layoff, of not being understood, of pressures at school and frustration with life. Other times they will contain apologies to their loved ones, regret for letting them down. Essentially these accounts are an anonymous online diary accompanied by pictures, for the whole world to see and leave comments on.
I am afraid for our girls. Terrified of the communities that exist outside our reach. As parents, we must do our best to love understand and know what is happening with our children. This is something that is becoming harder to do every day. Please keep yourself aware of the ever growing availability of technology which allows our children to hide their secrets even deeper from us. While I understand peer support and input is a large and important part of the adolescent experience, the wrong kind can permanently damage.
Here are some links to the warning signs for eating disorders, helping someone with an eating disorder and Self Harm
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