Tiny prods

Here I am again, bathing your eyes with my thoughts and opinions, if you choose to take that bath. It's been awhile. A looooooooong while (your eyes must be filthy! ;)). I've missed taking this time for myself and intend to reclaim it. I can't being to explain how much I enjoy writing. I don't even think I knew how much myself, until I began to re-read previous posts. It's a freeing experience. It's tearing down walls and allowing everyone to see what/who/why you are. I am many things and I've only begun to scratch the surface.

If you know me, you are aware that while I am not a religious person, I am very spiritual. I can't seem to tie my beliefs to any one discipline and find myself drawing from many.  One of my strongest beliefs is that we continue on after we pass. How can we not? Humans are made of energy, which never ends, just transfers to something/somewhere else. You may disagree, that is your prerogitive. I have had no formal experience with the paranormal. That is to say, nothing that I can directly attribute, with difinitive proof, to someone who has passed. I can say, with sincerity, that I have encountered situations where I struggle to find reasonable explanations for what has occured. There is no need to go into detail, as these happenings have no real signifigance to anyone but me. They centre around my life and the people who have left it. They are tiny, simple things. Moments where I will hear a noise, see a slight movement out of the corner of my eye, or (and this is a big one) feel a drop of water on my hand in an otherwise dry environment. Suddenly, my mind is filled with them. Not always the same person, but generally her. (you will know who if you know me) They are almost like tiny reminders, like "Hey, wake up...I'm here" I have recently been instructed to pay attention to these tiny prods. I am attempting this, rest assured. I just wish I knew why and what exactly to pay attention to. Perhaps I will in time. Or, on the other hand, maybe there is nothing to understand besides the reminder that they are with me always. Either way, and whether or not you believe I am nuts, I am grateful to know, if only in my heart, that I am never alone.  

Whiners, complainers and A-holes

I enjoy perusing our local buy/sell/trade sites. You never know when you might run across something that you need, for a price that blows your mind. I also list on them myself from time to time. Nothing works faster to move an unwanted item into a new home than social media!

Recently though, a certain site has started to become more of a bitch/whine/moan arena than a "hey, I have this for sale, wanna buy it?" one.
If you are curious, the site is called the Stoke list. It is an extremely successful page & not just for the buy/sell aspect. It is also a superb place to get news about goings on in our community out to a larger audience.

Now to my main point. One of the features of this page is that it allows you to post anonymously. Is this a problem? you may ask. Normally, I would say no. I actually prefer that you are given the option of whether or not you want to list your name along with the item. Things stay a little safer that way. E-mails are sent from the site and re-routed to your personal e-mail so no one ever actually has your information unless you decide they need it. Unfortunately, along with this anonymity, you are bound to run into those wonderful people who decide to use the site as their personal verbal diarrhea forum. Oh and be complete dicks while doing so.

It amazes me how someone could have such obvious deep seated opinions about something, while at the same time not have the balls to attach their name to their convictions. Currently, I am referring to an ongoing debate about grass length within city limits. I will not go into detail as it would take WAY too long to explain the whole situation, but the gist is that one person has a problem with someones lawn. Their main beef is that it is overgrown and unsightly. This person even went as far as to say it looked like a "crack house". Obviously this person strongly disagrees with the lawn being uncut. His/Her post brings on many more on the same topic, some in agreement, some in defence. Slowly the debate becomes angry. Eventually, someone who actually lives in the house offers a rebuttal. It is not rude nor angry, she is simply trying to defend her and her family's choice of living. Please note, she has included her name. She has stated something she believes and owned it. Kudos to her. The reply to her post comes as this

 

Well Hello
Let’s not pussy foot around the whole point is you have encroached your lawn on to city property, and make stink when they try and look after it. The land around your house is owned by all the people of Revelstoke!!! Me being one of the 8000 people DON’T LIKE IT.
Then the others with your “just be nice”. I am being nice; I am just stating my opinion and the facts and then letting others look into it. Then they can make up their own minds. And maybe take an interest in their town.

Location:

City Land

Please note, still no name, no ownership. It is simply a snide and snippy response, with no gumption ie: courage; spunk; guts.

I have no particular investment in this issue, cut your lawn or don't, I don't care. My point is, whatever it is that you may have a problem with, if you ever feel the need to go out and complain, rant or rave about it, have enough pride in your opinion to stand behind it. Don't "pussy foot" around behind anonimity.

Sincerely, Beckie Campbell

Get outta my way!

Yesterday, bought a second hand bike trailer = :). Today, rain = :( Tomorrow, hopefully sun and an amazing ride along Revelstoke's very own green belt = :D I NEED to get out, I NEED to get moving and I NEED to quit snacking.

A wise woman once said, "The only one standing in your way is you!" While this was something I was already well aware of, it is the one thing that keeps resonating with me over and over. I find myself thinking it at least once a day, usually during my morning "I-have-nothing-to-wear-that-doesn't-make-me-feel-terrible" ritual. Sometimes, if I am having a particularly crappy day, it will creep up mid snack. One thing that is becoming all to apparent is my need to get the F outta my way and get healthy while doing so.

I have started to make some conscious choices about my diet. Cutting out eating after dinner has been one of the hardest. I like to snack. It is not a hunger thing. Maybe boredom? Perhaps a leftover oral fixation from being a smoker? Whatever it is, it's not healthy. When I do snack, I try to find something that is a least beneficial. My favorite right now is banana chips with cranberries mixed in. Mmmmm. Now if only I could get portions down...

Physical activity is another story. I don't sit around all day by any means, but it's not like I'm some sort of aerobic bunny either. My biggest issue in this department is knowing where to start.  Being back to work is at least adding some much needed variety to my movement. It occurs to me that while I am sitting here making the excuse that I can't figure out the best time to begin a routine, I could be doing just that... Now obviously 11:30 at night isn't the ideal time for a workout, but you get my point.

So, dear readers, hopefully tomorrow, with my new bike trailer, the bike I will borrowing and my wished for sunshine, I will quit making so many damn excuses and get out of my way. Here's to happy, healthy, harmonious me! Give me a call if you want to join in ;)

Working Girl 2012

It's official, I have completed one full week back at work after my maternity sabbatical. OK, OK, so it was only 4 days, at 6 1/2 hrs each, but to me that is a full week. You have to love full time part time.

Anyways, I have to say, it's really like I never left. I'm sure for my employers, things felt differently, but for me, like a fish in water. I will also admit that despite all of my protesting about not wanting to go back, I needed it. I feel energised, just better in general.

It's also a lot easier to get back into the work groove knowing my little lady is adjusting to daycare like a champ. I think that was a much bigger hurdle for me than just getting back to work ever was. With my son, daycare was never really a major issue. This time around, we really struggled. First of all, finding care at all. There have been so many babies born in the last year in this town that we are under equipped for all of the mother's returning to work. Second, convincing ourselves that this was a good thing for everyone. My son had always gone to either a family member or a family friend when I worked, so there was a level of comfort that this time around was lacking. After eventually making contact with someone who actually had space, we arranged to have my sweet little girl ease into a stranger looking after her slowly. My plan had initially been to begin with short days and gradually build up to full days until she was used to the idea before I returned to work. Well, I have paved the road to hell more than once with my good intentions. I managed to get her there twice, both times for only around two hours a piece, before the wedding took over two weeks of our life. It's hard to find an excuse to drop your baby off with a daycare when you have family milling around everywhere just dying to see the little one. Her first full day ended up being my first day back to work. After an excruciating 6 1/2 hrs, most of which I spent wondering if I should call to make sure everything was fine, I sheepishly poked my head through the door to find my baby happily dancing around a coffee table, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I was gone. It's funny how as parents we want our children to be independent, but the minute they show us that they are OK without us, horror of horrors. Needless to say, I was relieved she was doing well, but at the same time, a little bit let down that she wasn't huddled in a corner repeating my name. On top of having a fantastic day without me, she had decided that daycare was the place she was going to be taking 2 hr naps...my 30 min queen (if I was lucky) had turn into a snoozing champion. Sigh. You're probably thinking, it's just a fluke, it can't possibly happen again. You're wrong though, everyday this week, 2 hr naps. Friday, 2 1/2. Today at home, half hour this morning and a whopping 15 mins this afternoon. Rest assured, I will be begging for the secret Tuesday morning when I drop her of before work!

All in all though, my return to work has been rewarding. Both me and the little one are finding our way in a new situation and I feel as if only good can come from new.

Wedded Bliss

Here I am, a Mrs. Time to take off my shoes, get knocked up and head to the kitchen. Oh wait, I already did all that. Guess I can just sit back and relax then! After planning a wedding, everyday life IS relaxing. I wouldn't change a thing though, what a day! I wish I could remember more of it. Seriously. People will tell you, as I am now, that your wedding day will be a blur. I was told. Repeatedly. I thought to myself; "Pfttttt, they just didn't take the time to take it all in! Not me, I will make sure I remember every minute!" HA! I didn't have time to take time to remember to remember to take it all in. That last statement reflects just how well my brain was functioning on the big day. Or perhaps "over"functioning would be a better description. There is so much to think about all at once, there is no way to focus on one thing in particular. Everything gets just enough thought before you are forced to move onto the next dilemma.

Also, for every lady out there who would like to think that there is no way they will ever turn into a "Bridezilla", think again! It will creep up on you. There is nothing you can do. Besides one incident with my favour bags being first late, then wrong, then breaking when I tried to use them, I was a rather sunny, happy bride.* I managed to make it all the way to the day of the wedding before I turned. I think I know how Bruce Banner must feel when he starts to change into the Hulk. You know the transformation has begun, are fully aware that it is occurring, but you are seemingly powerless to stop it. I have a vague memory of telling one of my Bridesmaids to put on her dress. Now, this statement may seem like a friendly directive, harmless in it's simplicity, but it was obvious from the hurry with which she put on her dress, my delivery was neither friendly nor spunky.

The only thing a Bride can hope for on her wedding day is people who can calm her down enough to realise things will be fine. Special people who can convince her that, no, you didn't leave the rings at the hotel, relax. Wonderful, understanding people who will stand and pose and smile endlessly while her amazing photographer gets the perfect shot. I had these people, have these people and can only hope to hold onto all of these people through the many years to come. I love you all. Thank you for being part of my life.

*This statement was made by the bride herself and has not been reviewed by qualified persons, nor has it been confirmed as fact.

Sheepishly I return

OK everybody...I know you're thinking, "HOLY SH*T! She's still blogging?!?!" Once again, apologies. I would like to say that my wedding planning has been the entire reason for my complete lack of dedicated writing, but I would be lying. While it is a LARGE part of the reason, the main cause of my lapse is shame. I am ashamed that since my last post, I have done exactly what I was urging everyone not to do. Let me explain that it was not "slacktivism" that led me to my inactivity on the Kony 2012 issue, it was straight up disillusion. I started reading more on the issue and began questioning the motives of the organization and decided that I really do not support another military intervention in a foreign issue. This is not to say that I don't support any intervention, I would just like to hold onto hope that one day we will be able to make a difference without force. After the public meltdown of Invisible Childrens' co-founder Jason Russell, I decided I definately needed to look for a different option. Not that one mans actions should paint the picture for an entire movement, for me unfortunatly, it did. So I will search for some other way to make my difference and wish the best to those who will try to do the same. I still stand steadfastly by my urging to Donate, educate, activate. Doing something is always better than doing nothing.

There is a fire up under this ass!

Unless you have been living under a rock, you have heard, read or been told about Kony 2012. It was everywhere yesterday, Facebook, news casts, blogs, Twitter, even Pinterest. Today, not as much and mostly overshadowed by the speculations that always follow any cause (me doing my part in this respect as well), but still there, nonetheless. It is tomorrow that worries me, along with the next day, then the next and so on.

We are living an age of instant gratification and never ending distraction. One click, a "share" or a "like" and we are enabled to feel satisfied that we have done something. While this is one way of spreading the news and I am in no way condemning those who have done simply this, I feel as if we are at a point in time where we NEED to be doing more. If not for ourselves, for our children. With this widespread awareness, we have a window of opportunity where kids are paying attention, that we cannot miss out on. If we sit back, click and move on, we are allowing them to think that this is enough. While it is something, it is far from being enough. What you decide to do is personal. Just do it. Donate, educate, activate...

http://kony2012.s3-website-us-east-1.amazonaws.com

Will I survive Mommyhood with all of my hair?

As I write this, my lovely, adorable, sweet baby girl is screaming her face off. Now you may be thinking; "Why are you blogging then?!? How terrible!" and I don't blame you. You may not agree with the "Cry it out" method, you have every right to your own opinion, but please don't vilify me for making this choice, because trust me, it wasn't an easy one. I don't enjoy listening to my darling daughter cry, quite the opposite. I have come to the conclusion that I am not doing my little one any favours by holding her to sleep. It may be comforting, and I may even enjoy doing it from time to time. She is 8 months old now and I know that one of the reasons she is crying is because she is pissed at me for having the audacity to think I have the option of putting her to sleep before she falls asleep in my arms. Ah, the age of awareness. She is also crying because she is exhausted. She will keep herself awake as long as she possibly can, as most babies her age tend to do. She doesn't want to miss a thing, and who can blame her. All I am attempting to do is enable her to enjoy these things happily, as well as safely. Now that she is 8 months old, she has also discovered that she is able to not only crawl, but pull herself up onto the furniture, so as to offer a better view of her surroundings and where she may next cause havoc. This is stressful enough, adding a baby who is drowsy to the mixture of corners, coffee tables, and hardwood floors is a nightmare. She is clumsy when fully rested, I don't think I need to elaborate on how things go with no nap. To all the Mommies out there who have, are or will be struggling thru the no-napping baby, hugs! I may not do it gracefully (I bawled my eyes out this morning...again) but I am a Mom to the best of my abilities and this is just another day, tomorrow will go better. I have to go though...her 20 min nap is done! :S

Pinterest...

Like I needed another reason to spend wayyyyy too much time on the computer. Good Lord! It is an absolute miracle anything gets accomplished around this house! Between Facebook, blogging and now this amazing new site, I am addicted. Good thing I don't have a cellphone, because I am sure Twitter would take the last little bit of my attention. Let me just assure my readers that this addiction takes place after the children are all snuggly in their little beds! There is only a very limited amount of neglect going on ;)

Some good has come out of my latest dependency though! Noah, Hailey and I were invited to dinner with a friend and her two wonderful little ladies this last Saturday, our only requirement for attendance was supplying dessert. I had seen this cute little idea for cupcakes on Pinterest and decided to give them a try, as an early homage to Valentines Day. I couldn't be happier with the results! While I will agree that the cupcakes would have looked slightly more appetising with some frosting or even some sprinkles, I decided to take it easy on the sugar, as one of the girls we were going to visit doesn't fancy sweet things too much.

The cupcakes were a hit, sprinkle free and all! My success with this project only makes me that much more excited to try all of the other wonderful projects I have discovered! So, if in the future, I am vacant from my blogging post, expect to find me Pinning! Oh and trying to find some way to add a few more hours into an already stretched out day!

The unexpected

Well, here I am, writing my blog on an unexpected new laptop while my soon to be husband spends the first of 14 nights night in Grande Prairie on an unexpected work foray. The laptop is a welcome addition to the family, when I can put the cost out of my mind and simply appreciate not having to be stuck to a desk while using it. Friday night our trusty desktop bought the farm, good thing we had plans for a trip to Kelowna already in the works for the next day, Revelstoke is certainly not the place to make electronic purchases!
That being said, Grande Prairie is definitely not on my list of happy surprises! Work is work, and it must be done in order to enjoy the better things in life (ie: laptops) but I enjoy having my other half a little closer that 12 hours away. Perhaps I will feel differently after a few years of marriage ;), but for now...

So, to all of the ladies and men out there who watch their partners leave for long stretches on a regular basis, you have my admiration.

On a happier note, 80 more days until the wedding! Hopefully only happy surprises until then.

Earth's Children

Ayla, the main character

You may (or may not) consider me a geek, or a dork or even a nerd...but I can't help but LOVE the Earth's Children series by Jean M. Auel. I have read and re-read and re-read again the first 5 books in the series, patiently waiting for the sixth one to be written. I was beginning to give up hope, thinking that perhaps Mrs. Auel was just too tired to complete the finalé to her epic saga. The research involved in her books is extensive to say the least, as she strives to offer the most accurate information about the time in history which her books are set, somewhere between 28,000 and 25,000 ago.

Then one day, whilst strolling down the aisles at Cooper's, I saw it. I nearly fell over right there. I'm sure the whole scene must have been pretty funny to any on-lookers. It was one of those Walk, stop, look, shake head, keep walking, stop, back-up, stare, break into uncontrollable smiling and nearly jumping up and down kind of moments. It literally made my day. I couldn't help but gush to the cashier about my good fortune! I considered phoning friends and family when I returned home to let them know about my find! It was all a little much for simply stumbling across a book, but hey, I really like them!

Needless to say, some of the reason I haven't been writing my blog is because of this book. My free time in the evenings has been spent trying to get at least a chapter in before bed. I admit I felt pretty sad realising this would be the last book, the final hurrah, but I also felt a little relieved that I wouldn't have to wait another 10 years for the next. I don't wait well for things, It's hard enough having to wait from summer to summer for True Blood. Then I discovered this little tid-bit of information...THERE MIGHT BE A SEVENTH BOOK!

I Quote:

"To be honest, I don't feel like I'm through," the author, 74, said during a recent interview. "I still have some material and I'm going to keep on writing. It's what I do." At this very moment I feel both happy and sad, both anticipation and dread...Mrs. Auel, you have hooked me, please don't take so long to reel me in this time!

On a side, I strongly urge you to read this series if you enjoy reading at all. Also, don't think you can skip the first book, Clan of the Cave Bear, by watching the movie...this is not one of those cases where the movie is better...at all. It was terrible! Besides, then I will have someone else to wait with ;)

Sweet Dreams

There are dreams I have never realised.

Put on hold for a more convenient time,

Only to be forgotten in the face of a new adventure.

I was young and in a hurry. 

I am bigger now.

Those dreams were babies, from a juvenile imagination.

Not without merit, just fantastical.

My new dreams are alive, with colour and substance.

They are here and real and satisfying.

Once aspirations, now achieved.

I do not regret those I have lost,

they were left behind so I could find my way here.

Blah to winter blues

Ever feel lost and scattered? Of course you have. Ever feel as if there really isn't a good reason for it? Probably. Are you feeling this way right now? If so, I'm right there with you.

I spend most of my days alternating between entertaining my little people and taking care of the house. Day in day out. Wash, rinse, repeat. I have full intentions of doing something more spectacular with my time, something above and beyond the every day chores, something that will break the monotony, wake me from my funk. Every morning I wake up thinking "maybe today" Unfortunately, as the days of my maternity leave tick away, I find I am disappointed with how I have spent them and their lack of fantastic.

I will stop you right there. I am not disappointed with the time I have spent nurturing my little ones. That time is valued and valuable. I am referring to the rest of the time and what could have been achieved had it been spent to it's full potential.

I look back on my blog and I wonder where all of the frenzy has gone from my life. I had so much get up and go in the beginning. November's fervour has been replaced by January's apathy. It all baffles me a little, though I really only have myself to blame. And Facebook! And the snow..I'll blame some of this on that horrible white stuff outside.

Enough whining though. I need to pick myself back up and find that fever pace. I also need to start getting out of the house again!

Today I did just that and spent a wonderful afternoon with my friend, The Worthy Cook. It was so nice and refreshing to just sit and BS with someone with much the same outlook as me. I did feel a little guilty watching her slave away making her cupcakes, but I had my own little cupcake to keep my eye on...she has started crawling, so it's not quite as layed back as it used to be!

From here on out, I refuse to give in to the laziness that took over most of my January. I will stand up and give it a good swift kick in it's lazy ass along with one for myself and I welcome a good one from anyone willing.

Here's to motivation!

On a side note...this my 25th post! Yay! That is all.

Really....REALLY?!???!

That is precisely what I would have been thinking had I tuned into my last blog, only to discover that it wasn't really a full posting...apologies. I know it was cheap, but I really did need some time to just vegetate with the fam!

I am dreaming of Spring. Green grass, the little purple crocuses pushing there way out of the ground and the gravel built up on the side of the road after the snow melts. You may think this is a strange memory to have about Spring, but I can honestly say, it's one of my oldest. I can still picture walking to school, the new seasons earliest sunshine warming me as I kicked the gravel into big dusty clouds. I would drag my shoes through it and make designs all the way along Nichol Road. (in hind-sight, I'm sure my Mom loved me for this!) The gravel always triggered a feeling nothing else could. To this day, I still feel like a little girl when I see it.

The gravel was also a precursor to our annual trips to Parksville on Vancouver Island. I still long for those days of complete carelessness. I would spend countless hours on the beach by myself, wandering back and forth, discovering, uncovering, recovering. It is so pure at the oceans side. I miss it more than I could ever begin to explain.

I was a lucky child, I had things that I still hold very dear to me, but I think my most valuable remainders from youth are my memories. I have my wonderful parents to thank for this. My hard working Father, who spent 30 year slaving away to make sure we had everything he could possibly give us. 30 years in which he never took a sick day...seriously, never. My beautiful, amazing Mother, who spent her days taking care of us and her nights readying herself for doing it all again the next day. Who, every Thursday, without fail, morphed from Mom to Girl Guide leader, to help other young girls find the same confidence in themselves that she had helped me find within. May she rest peacefully.

How I hope I can supply my children with the same secure, happy existence my parents did for me. I dream that I am able to let them stay children as long as possible, to allow them to build memories to carry with them all their lives. And when times get rough, may they have there own "gravel" to reminisce about.

Quality time

Just a quick note to my readers. I will be back, I promise. I am currently focusing on the finer things in life. Until then.