There is a fire up under this ass!

Unless you have been living under a rock, you have heard, read or been told about Kony 2012. It was everywhere yesterday, Facebook, news casts, blogs, Twitter, even Pinterest. Today, not as much and mostly overshadowed by the speculations that always follow any cause (me doing my part in this respect as well), but still there, nonetheless. It is tomorrow that worries me, along with the next day, then the next and so on.

We are living an age of instant gratification and never ending distraction. One click, a "share" or a "like" and we are enabled to feel satisfied that we have done something. While this is one way of spreading the news and I am in no way condemning those who have done simply this, I feel as if we are at a point in time where we NEED to be doing more. If not for ourselves, for our children. With this widespread awareness, we have a window of opportunity where kids are paying attention, that we cannot miss out on. If we sit back, click and move on, we are allowing them to think that this is enough. While it is something, it is far from being enough. What you decide to do is personal. Just do it. Donate, educate, activate...

http://kony2012.s3-website-us-east-1.amazonaws.com

Will I survive Mommyhood with all of my hair?

As I write this, my lovely, adorable, sweet baby girl is screaming her face off. Now you may be thinking; "Why are you blogging then?!? How terrible!" and I don't blame you. You may not agree with the "Cry it out" method, you have every right to your own opinion, but please don't vilify me for making this choice, because trust me, it wasn't an easy one. I don't enjoy listening to my darling daughter cry, quite the opposite. I have come to the conclusion that I am not doing my little one any favours by holding her to sleep. It may be comforting, and I may even enjoy doing it from time to time. She is 8 months old now and I know that one of the reasons she is crying is because she is pissed at me for having the audacity to think I have the option of putting her to sleep before she falls asleep in my arms. Ah, the age of awareness. She is also crying because she is exhausted. She will keep herself awake as long as she possibly can, as most babies her age tend to do. She doesn't want to miss a thing, and who can blame her. All I am attempting to do is enable her to enjoy these things happily, as well as safely. Now that she is 8 months old, she has also discovered that she is able to not only crawl, but pull herself up onto the furniture, so as to offer a better view of her surroundings and where she may next cause havoc. This is stressful enough, adding a baby who is drowsy to the mixture of corners, coffee tables, and hardwood floors is a nightmare. She is clumsy when fully rested, I don't think I need to elaborate on how things go with no nap. To all the Mommies out there who have, are or will be struggling thru the no-napping baby, hugs! I may not do it gracefully (I bawled my eyes out this morning...again) but I am a Mom to the best of my abilities and this is just another day, tomorrow will go better. I have to go though...her 20 min nap is done! :S

Pinterest...

Like I needed another reason to spend wayyyyy too much time on the computer. Good Lord! It is an absolute miracle anything gets accomplished around this house! Between Facebook, blogging and now this amazing new site, I am addicted. Good thing I don't have a cellphone, because I am sure Twitter would take the last little bit of my attention. Let me just assure my readers that this addiction takes place after the children are all snuggly in their little beds! There is only a very limited amount of neglect going on ;)

Some good has come out of my latest dependency though! Noah, Hailey and I were invited to dinner with a friend and her two wonderful little ladies this last Saturday, our only requirement for attendance was supplying dessert. I had seen this cute little idea for cupcakes on Pinterest and decided to give them a try, as an early homage to Valentines Day. I couldn't be happier with the results! While I will agree that the cupcakes would have looked slightly more appetising with some frosting or even some sprinkles, I decided to take it easy on the sugar, as one of the girls we were going to visit doesn't fancy sweet things too much.

The cupcakes were a hit, sprinkle free and all! My success with this project only makes me that much more excited to try all of the other wonderful projects I have discovered! So, if in the future, I am vacant from my blogging post, expect to find me Pinning! Oh and trying to find some way to add a few more hours into an already stretched out day!

The unexpected

Well, here I am, writing my blog on an unexpected new laptop while my soon to be husband spends the first of 14 nights night in Grande Prairie on an unexpected work foray. The laptop is a welcome addition to the family, when I can put the cost out of my mind and simply appreciate not having to be stuck to a desk while using it. Friday night our trusty desktop bought the farm, good thing we had plans for a trip to Kelowna already in the works for the next day, Revelstoke is certainly not the place to make electronic purchases!
That being said, Grande Prairie is definitely not on my list of happy surprises! Work is work, and it must be done in order to enjoy the better things in life (ie: laptops) but I enjoy having my other half a little closer that 12 hours away. Perhaps I will feel differently after a few years of marriage ;), but for now...

So, to all of the ladies and men out there who watch their partners leave for long stretches on a regular basis, you have my admiration.

On a happier note, 80 more days until the wedding! Hopefully only happy surprises until then.

Earth's Children

Ayla, the main character

You may (or may not) consider me a geek, or a dork or even a nerd...but I can't help but LOVE the Earth's Children series by Jean M. Auel. I have read and re-read and re-read again the first 5 books in the series, patiently waiting for the sixth one to be written. I was beginning to give up hope, thinking that perhaps Mrs. Auel was just too tired to complete the finalé to her epic saga. The research involved in her books is extensive to say the least, as she strives to offer the most accurate information about the time in history which her books are set, somewhere between 28,000 and 25,000 ago.

Then one day, whilst strolling down the aisles at Cooper's, I saw it. I nearly fell over right there. I'm sure the whole scene must have been pretty funny to any on-lookers. It was one of those Walk, stop, look, shake head, keep walking, stop, back-up, stare, break into uncontrollable smiling and nearly jumping up and down kind of moments. It literally made my day. I couldn't help but gush to the cashier about my good fortune! I considered phoning friends and family when I returned home to let them know about my find! It was all a little much for simply stumbling across a book, but hey, I really like them!

Needless to say, some of the reason I haven't been writing my blog is because of this book. My free time in the evenings has been spent trying to get at least a chapter in before bed. I admit I felt pretty sad realising this would be the last book, the final hurrah, but I also felt a little relieved that I wouldn't have to wait another 10 years for the next. I don't wait well for things, It's hard enough having to wait from summer to summer for True Blood. Then I discovered this little tid-bit of information...THERE MIGHT BE A SEVENTH BOOK!

I Quote:

"To be honest, I don't feel like I'm through," the author, 74, said during a recent interview. "I still have some material and I'm going to keep on writing. It's what I do." At this very moment I feel both happy and sad, both anticipation and dread...Mrs. Auel, you have hooked me, please don't take so long to reel me in this time!

On a side, I strongly urge you to read this series if you enjoy reading at all. Also, don't think you can skip the first book, Clan of the Cave Bear, by watching the movie...this is not one of those cases where the movie is better...at all. It was terrible! Besides, then I will have someone else to wait with ;)

Sweet Dreams

There are dreams I have never realised.

Put on hold for a more convenient time,

Only to be forgotten in the face of a new adventure.

I was young and in a hurry. 

I am bigger now.

Those dreams were babies, from a juvenile imagination.

Not without merit, just fantastical.

My new dreams are alive, with colour and substance.

They are here and real and satisfying.

Once aspirations, now achieved.

I do not regret those I have lost,

they were left behind so I could find my way here.

Blah to winter blues

Ever feel lost and scattered? Of course you have. Ever feel as if there really isn't a good reason for it? Probably. Are you feeling this way right now? If so, I'm right there with you.

I spend most of my days alternating between entertaining my little people and taking care of the house. Day in day out. Wash, rinse, repeat. I have full intentions of doing something more spectacular with my time, something above and beyond the every day chores, something that will break the monotony, wake me from my funk. Every morning I wake up thinking "maybe today" Unfortunately, as the days of my maternity leave tick away, I find I am disappointed with how I have spent them and their lack of fantastic.

I will stop you right there. I am not disappointed with the time I have spent nurturing my little ones. That time is valued and valuable. I am referring to the rest of the time and what could have been achieved had it been spent to it's full potential.

I look back on my blog and I wonder where all of the frenzy has gone from my life. I had so much get up and go in the beginning. November's fervour has been replaced by January's apathy. It all baffles me a little, though I really only have myself to blame. And Facebook! And the snow..I'll blame some of this on that horrible white stuff outside.

Enough whining though. I need to pick myself back up and find that fever pace. I also need to start getting out of the house again!

Today I did just that and spent a wonderful afternoon with my friend, The Worthy Cook. It was so nice and refreshing to just sit and BS with someone with much the same outlook as me. I did feel a little guilty watching her slave away making her cupcakes, but I had my own little cupcake to keep my eye on...she has started crawling, so it's not quite as layed back as it used to be!

From here on out, I refuse to give in to the laziness that took over most of my January. I will stand up and give it a good swift kick in it's lazy ass along with one for myself and I welcome a good one from anyone willing.

Here's to motivation!

On a side note...this my 25th post! Yay! That is all.

Really....REALLY?!???!

That is precisely what I would have been thinking had I tuned into my last blog, only to discover that it wasn't really a full posting...apologies. I know it was cheap, but I really did need some time to just vegetate with the fam!

I am dreaming of Spring. Green grass, the little purple crocuses pushing there way out of the ground and the gravel built up on the side of the road after the snow melts. You may think this is a strange memory to have about Spring, but I can honestly say, it's one of my oldest. I can still picture walking to school, the new seasons earliest sunshine warming me as I kicked the gravel into big dusty clouds. I would drag my shoes through it and make designs all the way along Nichol Road. (in hind-sight, I'm sure my Mom loved me for this!) The gravel always triggered a feeling nothing else could. To this day, I still feel like a little girl when I see it.

The gravel was also a precursor to our annual trips to Parksville on Vancouver Island. I still long for those days of complete carelessness. I would spend countless hours on the beach by myself, wandering back and forth, discovering, uncovering, recovering. It is so pure at the oceans side. I miss it more than I could ever begin to explain.

I was a lucky child, I had things that I still hold very dear to me, but I think my most valuable remainders from youth are my memories. I have my wonderful parents to thank for this. My hard working Father, who spent 30 year slaving away to make sure we had everything he could possibly give us. 30 years in which he never took a sick day...seriously, never. My beautiful, amazing Mother, who spent her days taking care of us and her nights readying herself for doing it all again the next day. Who, every Thursday, without fail, morphed from Mom to Girl Guide leader, to help other young girls find the same confidence in themselves that she had helped me find within. May she rest peacefully.

How I hope I can supply my children with the same secure, happy existence my parents did for me. I dream that I am able to let them stay children as long as possible, to allow them to build memories to carry with them all their lives. And when times get rough, may they have there own "gravel" to reminisce about.

Quality time

Just a quick note to my readers. I will be back, I promise. I am currently focusing on the finer things in life. Until then.

Unconditionally yours

un·con·di·tion·al  (nkn-dsh-nl)

adj.

Without conditions or limitations; absolute

This adjective can be used in many different ways, but today I bring it up in the context of friendship. If you are my friend, I love you this way. I may, from time to time, disagree with something you do, but I will always support your decisions. If I see you walking a destructive path, I will do my best to steer you down a different road. It might be my opinion that someone you are dating is perhaps less than good enough for you, and I may find it necessary to let you know this...once, after which I will step back and let you live your life.  I may want to say "I told you so" if said relationship does not work out, but I will try my darnest not to and hope you will forgive me if I slip, it was only because I care so deeply. I will always be there to bolster your self esteem, assure you that you are a beautiful, wonderful amazing individual that it is my honour to have as part of my life. If for some reason we end up far apart and we don't talk as often as we would both like, I will still love you. I will understand that you have a busy life, a full and engaging existance that will sometimes prevent you from tying yourself down to a phone. When we do talk it will be as if we were never separated. I will always cherish time spent together, will always wish there was more of it. When you grow I grow with you. You, my friend, have made an indelible impression on me. Thank you.

and now for resolutions...

Ahhhhhh...Christmas is done. Time to sit back, undo the top button of my pants and relax! Oh, if only this was the case.. Wedding thoughts are surging back in quickly to replace the now fleeting holiday ones.

Custom made Crayons®!

It was a fabulous Christmas though! My first one hosting, my first turkey, not to mention my little girls first one too! The day started at 7 am with gifts and  I'm sure you would all agree that there is nothing better than watching some one open a gift you chose for them, except of course, if said person is a child. So much fun watching the anticipation build, those eyes light up, that smile begin to form, and finally, that look of complete happiness! While Hailey isn't quite there yet, her brother gave me all the joy of giving I needed. One gift we purchased for Noah was the Crayola® Crayon Maker, but I think I am having more fun with it than he is! The day slowly transitioned from our presents, to presents from the Grand-folk, into an afternoon of snacks and lovely conversation, all culminating in a wonderful sit down dinner in our tiny, humble kitchen. While the dishes weren't fancy, the company was fantastic. As I sat down in my chair and  filled my wine glass, all I could think was how lucky I am to have the wonderful, amazing family I do...as well as "Thank GOD for Pinot Blanc!" I can still feel the glow from that day (and quite possibly the wine, as it was only my second drink since weaning Hailey!)

Now, as the New Year quickly approaches, I find myself once again drowning in thoughts of invitations, meal planning and making a resolution to stop eating all the damned goodies that are still hanging around the house!

You are what you attract

After reading a post from one of my fellow bloggers this evening, I can't help but find myself in total understanding. She spoke so concisely about something I truly believe. People, things and happenings in our lives exist because we attract them to us. Both positive and negative. I have always tried my best to look at things in an optimistic way. The glass is always half full for me. From every tragedy in our lives, there is knowledge to be gained and in turn made into something good for the future. Some tragedies, unfortunately, are final, but even these I tend to mourn positively...if that makes sense? I can't personally dwell on things I cannot change. Instead, I try my best to remember what it was that made this person so special to lose. I do feel pain, don't get me wrong, sometimes so much so it's physical, but mostly I reflect happily.

What understanding did I acquire then, if this was already something I practise as a basis for living? It makes perfect sense to me now why I have felt so drawn to her, why I have seen so much familiarity in the ways she goes about her family and work. I feel honoured to know her and to have been able to work with her in the past, and now in the future as we take this new step in life. I am positive her pictures will bring to life the love we have for each other and I look forward to sharing our day with her.

On a side note, I recommend the Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield...good read! (I own it if you would like to borrow ;) )

The Celestine Prophecy is a 1993 novel by James Redfield that discusses various psychological and spiritual ideas which are rooted in many ancient Eastern Traditions and New Age spirituality. The main character of the novel undertakes a journey to find and understand a series of nine spiritual insights on an ancient manuscript in Peru. The book is a first-person narrative of the narrator's spiritual awakening as he goes through a transitional period of his life

Passing on the kindness

My son never ceases to amaze me. I have spent the last nine years trying my damnedest (<----that looks dumb, I know, but that's the proper spelling!) to teach him humility, compassion and understanding. Growing up, my mother always made a point to let me know that there is always someone worse off than yourself. She didn't do it to make me feel guilty, she merely wanted me to realise that I was lucky to have what I did, even if my friends had nore. In turn I have spent my life trying my best to make sure I am always aware of how good I have it, and pass on any good will I can to those who need a helping hand.  Noah has always displayed to me a innate ability to feel compassion for those less fortunate.  In the last two weeks though, it has been shining out of him. First of all, we have new neighbours. When I informed Noah of this, he immediately suggested getting them a "welcome to the neighbourhood" gift. (we have yet to do this, but this is my fault, not his) Next example, while admiring his gingerbread house this morning, he simply stated "I would really like to give this to a homeless person." WOW. Now I realise that I am tooting my own horn here, or rather Noah's, but I am so proud of my little man. While I am fully aware he is less than perfect, as we all are, and he certainly has his problem areas, as we all do, he is showing me how he is growing everyday into a wonderful, thoughtful human being.

Monday will find us at the CIBC, picking out an Angel from the Christmas tree so we can buy an age appropriate gift for a child in need. The excitement he showed when I suggested we do this was heartwarming.

So, even while he daily asks me for something new, I will try and keep in mind that he is a child, and I too felt that I needed everything at his age. Instead of getting angry, I will once again gently remind him of those with nothing and hope my mother's lesson will continue to spill into the next generation.

On a related note...I have always wanted to sponsor a child. The main reason I haven't yet is my wariness. I am worried that my money will not be going to where I intend it to. Is there anyone who has already sponsored a child and has any advice for me? 

Small pleasures

I love the smell of gingerbread, the taste of gingerbread, and who knows,one day I might even love the process of baking gingerbread! For now, I'll settle for the nice pre-made kit from my trusty grocery store! I adore doing little projects with my son, but recently I have been guilty of being too busy. I feel ashamed even saying this, I should never be too busy for my children. But with the last 6 months filled with feeding, changing, screaming, 20 min naps, repeat, I have been a little selfish with any spare time that comes my way. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been completely neglecting my boy, I just personally feel I could be spending a little more time with him before he decides I suck and wants nothing to do with me anymore. I have been accused on more than one occasion of coddling...and that may be true, but I can't help it. So tonight while daddy kept the little one occupied, I sat down with my not so little man  and we decorated the shit out of a gingerbread house! I may have not mentioned this before, but if you know me well enough, you might already know, I am a control freak! If I see something being done that I just assume I could do better, I will jump in and try to take over. This is one of my less appealing characteristics, but I am aware of it, and try very hard to control it, especially when it comes to working on things with Noah. I am always pleasantly surprised when I do manage to suppress my urge. I love watching his gears turning as he decides where to put the next little piece of candy, after he eats "just one more". Who knows, I might just have the Next Great Baker on my hands...but I should probably teach him how to bake gingerbread first ;)

Tis the season...for colds!

I'm back, mostly. Has been a long since I have been under the weather and I can honestly say, it knocked me on my fanny! I hate being sick. I try not to use the word hate very much, it's such a strong word, but when it comes to colds, I really have no qualms with dropping the H bomb. When it's a head cold, I also use a few other rather strong words to describe it, but I will spare you.

I digress, I mentioned being back, and snivelling will not help me now. I have spent most of the day trying to catch up on the things that get out of hand when you fall ill. My wonderful man stayed home from work yesterday to help me with the kids and cooked dinner, as he also did the evening prior. I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am for this. All I could think all weekend, in the midst of feeling sorry for myself, was "How am I going to do this once he goes back to work?"  I realise that women everywhere manage being sick while having to tend their children and housework all at the same time, and I sound like a big baby. I will fully admit this without shame. When I have a head cold, or any other malady of the head, I turn into a gigantic one! I am almost as pathetic as a man when they are sick... ;)

Now, only a little tickle in the back of my throat, with laundry dishes and vacuuming done, I can complain about my menial misfortune to you via my blog and perhaps garner some undeserved pity...hey, I'd do it for you ;)

Singing my life away.

In the search for wedding music, I've re-discovered Youtube. I have also re-discovered  my love to sing along with Youtube, as well as any music that may be playing. Pretty much, if I know the words, I'm in there like a dirty shirt (<--what does that mean, anyhow?!?) Much to my future Husband's disdain, this obsession includes television commercials. I won't even realise that I'm doing it. Suddenly, there I am, repeating the jingle for some random product word for word. Don't even get me started about singing in the car! I'm convinced that my man puts in music I don't know the lyrics to on purpose. I can't help it...it's a sickness. In all honesty though, I gladly welcome it back. I used to sing constantly. Whether I was at home or work, if I was in a good mood, I was belting out a tune! I love the way I feel when I full on, no reserves sing my heart out. As her brother before her, my daughter takes the full brunt of my vocals. So far she has been a willing participant in the personal live music show her life has become, not that she can really get away from it. I am currently stuck on a few Jann Arden songs and one well known Jewel tune that used to sound particularily amazing while sung stocking the cooler at Super Save! That was until I was informed by a co-worker that I could be heard through-out the store. No more cooler concerts for me! Counting Crows is another band that gets quite a lot of air time from my lungs. I can recite the lyrics from August and Everything After in my sleep, and who knows, maybe I do. I would love to be a professional singer someday. What an amazing thing that would be. Getting up there and doing something that makes me feel so alive for a living, wow. Who knows. For now, I am happy to sing my little girl to sleep. Que Sera, Sera.

I'm a busy little beaver!

Phew, what a busy few days! The momentum is still here, just thought I'd take a tiny break for a little blog therapy.

Yesterday was a package explosion in this house. Two packages delivered for x-mas, (thanks Uncle Bill), my babysteals.com package AND bridesmaids dresses...yay! I love getting things in the mail. Now a days I don't even get bills because I've opted for online statements. SO anything that isn't a Home Hardware flyer is exciting. Yes, even the reminders from the dentist bring a smile to my face! Literally ;)

On top of that excitement, Miss Hailey started veggies for the first time yesterday. This time around I am making my own baby food, with assistance from my trusty Baby Bullet (thanks Lynne!). I had the best intentions with my son, but I was young, and being so, found it was easier to just be lazy. Sorry bud... I decided to start with sweet potatoes, they're sweet but still have a nutty taste reminiscent of a veggie. To my delight, she accepted them! Granted, she didn't exactly jump for joy, she also didn't immediately spit them in my face! Success.

Things with the wedding planning are also starting to cement themselves and my excitement is palpable. It's nice to finally feel happy about things instead of the dread that had begun to take over any thought associated with the wedding.

I decided to take some of the joy from my day and bake it into some goodies for the ones I love. Nothing better than a chocolate chip cookie fresh out of the oven...especially if they're mint chocolate chip!



The road to hell is paved with these.

It has happened again. This certainly isn't the first time and I fear it won't be the last either, in spite of my good intentions.
Like every year, the months of September, October...now November have slipped past me, with me buying nary a gift. I always say to myself  "I really need to start my Christmas shopping early this year, so I can get it done without losing my mind!" Usually this inner thought is thunk somewhere between August & October. Then, somehow, I lose all ability to recall having said conversation with myself until I have only a month left to get my shopping done. Once I finally pull my self together and get on the shopping bandwagon, it takes me forever to scour the planet for those perfect presents. I dislike buying things for people that I am afraid they will never use. I do my very best to find meaningful yet practical gifts for my friends, something that they can hopefully tell was specially chosen for them and not just bought on the fly.  I thoroughly enjoy this process, and I can't wait to see the joy my presents bring to peoples faces. It kills me to not be there when they open it, and while I realize that might be selfish, it's another one of my guilty pleasures. I love bringing smiles to peoples faces, showing them how much they mean to me with a special gift carefully handpicked  for them. I do this year round with birthdays and the such, but Christmas is like the mother load! So much happy to give all at once!
Why, you may ask,  does it take so long to begin this process that brings me so much happiness? The only answer I can think of is that I work better under pressure.I am the Queen of Procrastination. SO far, it seems to be working for me ;)

Guilty pleasures...

Bathroom is cleaned, baby is sleeping...I have every right to stop and blog! Lol, I only make that excuse for myself. It's funny what we make ourselves feel guilty about. I try and get everything I can possibly fit into my day done, so I can feel entitled to take a little time to myself and check all my "guilty pleasures" My latest obsession is the website babysteals.com, which has a link to kidsteals.com. Always filled with merchandise at least 50%  mark down, and shipping that won't break the bank, I can't get enough. Most of the time, I simply look and wish and think "I don't really need that" But last week I gave in. I have been looking everywhere for quality, affordable, long sleeve onesies for my little girl. It's winter, you'd think they would be all over the place. Not the case. I even went out of town...nothing. Oh, they had a whole rack for boys, in varying colours and patterns, but apparently little girls...they don't need long sleeves, they're tough! So, I pulled out my trusty credit card and proceeded to order 6 of them from babysteals! I can't wait to get them, I find myself checking the delivery status everyday. I'm starting to understand all the hubbub surrounding shopping online. It's like a mini Christmas every time you have something en-route to your mail-box. It all started with the wedding dress, then the bridesmaids dresses, now the onesies... I have promised myself not to get carried away though...really...

Restlessness

Recently I have become aware of myself getting restless with my place in life. Perhaps it's due to the different ways I have been spending my time as of late. Used to be that most days were predetermined; get up, make coffee, smoke at least 3 cigarettes (which I no longer do!!!), drive to my job, work all day, come home, cook dinner, sleep, repeat. Now, no two days are the same, and I find myself at a loss with what to fill them with. Obviously I don't actually have TONS of time to work with, I do have a 6 month old and house to take care of. But the small blocks of scattered time that I do have? I feel they are being wasted. In all reality, I am looking for something I can actually attempt to make a living doing. I am envious of these ladies I keep running across, who, it seems to me, have it all figured out. They have these fantastic careers they love, skills out the Wazoo and the freedom to take their job where ever they may go. Don't get me wrong, I have skills... ;) I'm just not sure they are as transferrable as I'd like, and have the feeling I should add to my resume.
Heres where we involve the listeners. I am soliciting help. Those of you who follow, and know me well enough to make a suggestion, please feel free to make one! I invite it. What do you think I should pursue as a plausible career path? Your words may well be the spark I need to light this fire. I have a few ideas of my own in mind, but I am curious to see if anyone else comes across the same ones!