#ana and #mia aren't your daughter's friends

I would first like to point out that this article contains triggers for anorexia, bulimia, EDNOS and Self Harm.

Those hashtags on your daughter's photos may seem innocuous, but please don't be fooled. #ana, #mia, #EDNOS, amongst countless others are simply code. After an accidental stumble upon on Instagram, my mind is forever etched with the images of girls striving to be something unattainable. Entire accounts dedicated to pictures of girls they've found online, their thinspiration. In their minds, these girl are perfection.



Occasionally, you will see a photo of the girl herself. Most of the time these pictures are faceless, followed by a barrage of self hate. Statements about how they are fat, ugly, useless, disgusting, failures. Sometimes, comments from others can be found, trying to reason with them, telling them they're not fat. Telling them there is help, explaining that they are beautiful just the way they are. Other times, the comments come from people implying they are only doing this for attention, to get a life, go eat a burger! Still more damaging, to me, are the comments of support from fellow sufferers. Kudos given for progress on their thigh gap. Internet high fives for not eating for the past three days. Offers to be private ana-buddies on kik, which scares me even more than the blatantly exposed interactions of these girls. Our girls are slowly killing each other with words of loving support.

Truth be told, this isn't even the most frightening aspect of this online phenomenon. Very often with eating disorders, children will self harm. They may intentionally bruise themselves or cut. It only takes one search of any of the above hashtags on instagram to discover how prevalently these disorders coincide. (Other hashtags to be on the lookout for include #secret_society123, #bloodysecret123 #blithe, #ritzen #showusyourstory, but I advise you to be pepared for very graphic pictures) I often find these accounts are secret, separate from the existing ones parents/you may already know about, with great care taken to keep them safe from prying/loving eyes. Tag lines on the photos will sometimes speak of parents and their need to layoff, of not being understood, of pressures at school and frustration with life. Other times they will contain apologies to their loved ones, regret for letting them down. Essentially these accounts are an anonymous online diary accompanied by pictures, for the whole world to see and leave comments on.

I am afraid for our girls. Terrified of the communities that exist outside our reach. As parents, we must do our best to love understand and know what is happening with our children. This is something that is becoming harder to do every day. Please keep yourself aware of the ever growing availability of technology which allows our children to hide their secrets even deeper from us. While I understand peer support and input is a large and important part of the adolescent experience, the wrong kind can permanently damage.

Here are some links to the warning signs for eating disorders, helping someone with an eating disorder and Self Harm
Please feel free to use the share buttons below to spread the word. 

Waste not, want not.

Growing up, I was always keenly aware of this old adage. Simply put, if you are not wasteful, you will not be left wanting. While I still stand by this valuable lesson, it needs some adjustment for our modern age.

Though I am unsure as to the exact time these words of wisdom surfaced, for my purposes, I always supposed war time to make the most sense. A time when even the smallest, insignificant item was treasured; reused, re purposed or traded. Times were lean and only the foolish squandered.

Fast forward to our day and age. While it's still true that waste and squandering are a fools business, we don't have any real need to hold onto everything little thing, if it serves no ready purpose in our lives.

I have often found myself wandering through the house, grumping and groaning about how if I just had "more space" or "some decent storage", I would be a happily organised woman. Or if I had a bigger house, we would be able to fit everything somewhere and not have such cramped dwellings. Then one day, it dawned on me...I don't need more space, or a bigger house or even more storage for all of our stuff, I just need LESS STUFF! Face Palm, I know. This should have been obvious. This is where I make my point.

It is startlingly apparent that most of our generation has not grasped the need to adjust our understanding of the "Waste not, want not" belief. There are television programs based around the lives of people who have taken this idea to the extreme. We all grew up with parents who were the product of a generation of hoarders. I don't mean this in the current definition. Their hoarding was done out of necessity, out of a real need to make the most of everything at their disposal. Now a days, we don't have this pressing obligation to hold onto all those tiny insignificance's. We can get by with less on hand because of modern convenience. If we need something, we can buy it. Unfortunately, and I am obviously guilty as charged, we still feel the compulsion to collect everything we may eventually be able to use somewhere on down the road. I mean, come on...you always need something as soon as you throw it out, am I right?

So, this is my challenge. Go about your house. Take a very good look at what you have and what you use. If you feel the need, de-clutter yourself. Remove what is taking up that extra space and find room for the things that actually make your life either easier, happier or just more beautiful. Donate the rest, or sell it if you feel the need. Just empty it from your life. Release the guilt from not hoarding those things. You can and will live without them. Now sit back, look around at your special, purposeful belongings and breathe a sign of relief that you will now have a whole lot less to dust! I will be making my way along that path right with you, My new adage;  Need not, just get it out of the damn house!

Oh, aging...how I loathe you.

There was a point, a very long time ago, when I decided I would grow old gracefully. I would let my body take it natural course, going grey and wrinkling as it pleased. I would proudly show off my sagging chin, chest, stomach, knees and ankles. Openly flaunt my ever growing collection of crows feet and stretch marks! I was maybe all of 20 years old when I had this epiphany. Remember 20? Back when we knew everything? Yeah.

As I sit here a much more knowledgeable 31, I realise that I had much different ideas about what "gracefully" meant back then than I do now! I still plan on growing old, it's just that I will more than likely be doing so with a little help.

I find it incredible how a body can change in what seems like such a short time. One day you're 25, a little bit spongy around the mid-section, but still filling out your jeans and t-shirt rather nicely. The next day, you're jamming yourself into whatever (yoga) pants manage to give you the smallest muffin top, while trying to find that bra that makes your mom cakes resemble a passable pair of boobs. Did I mention the whiskers that seemingly pop out of NO WHERE! While I am fully aware of just how alluring this doesn't make me, I have to be true to all of the other whisker sporting ladies out there. They literally sneak up on you. I remember finding my first one, thinking it was simply a misplaced strand from my head, until I pulled on it. Horror of all horrors. I think next to stray nipple hairs, these may be the most traumatising. Nothing says sexy, mature woman like horse hair growing out of your chins. 

Moving along, those silver roots popping out of my noggin can kiss my saggy butt! When a small, sweet little old lady felt the need to utter the words,  "My, you sure have a lot of snow on the roof!", I came to terms with the fact that, a) I am not prepared to go grey gracefully in my early 30's and, b) some sweet little old ladies are actually ass holes. Dye job you are long overdue! 

Don't get me wrong though. while I can live without chin stubble and snowy white locks, I wouldn't change my wrinkles or stretch marks for the world. One thing I had right in my all knowing 20's was the fact that these things would forever let people have a small glimpse at the fullness of my life. Every line on my face and  long gash up my hip and stomach would tell tales of my joy and accomplishments. So instead of gracefully, I choose to grow old comfortably. I may be wearing Spanx under my yoga pants, with a plucked face and obviously colored hair, but I will be smiling the whole way! 

*Photo Credit to The Frisky

10 things I hope my children learn from me

1. Family is the most important thing you will EVER have. No matter what things you acquire throughout your life, nothing can replace family

2. Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold. Next to Family, friends are the people who will help you weave your way through the good and bad in life. They will hold your hand when you are down and throw theirs in the air to rejoice in your success.

3. Friends, part two. Please be careful who you decide to befriend. Always make sure the people you let into your life are helping to make it a better one. Don't let yourself be used.

4. Never cheat people. Try and be as honest in your dealings as possible, whether they are business or personal. What comes around goes around and eventually it will come around to you.

5. Be aware that there is a whole world going on around you. You are not the only one who matters. While you should always take care of yourself, be sure to take care of the ones who surround you too. If not, you may soon find there is no one around.

6.  Money is only a means to survive. You do not need to work yourself to death to have more and more and more. It is nice to have things, but it is nicer to have time to share with the ones you love.

7. The name on the tags of your clothing are of no consequence. It is not the clothes, it is what is inside them that matters. Don't EVER judge someone on their apparel...EVER.

8. You never truly know someone else's circumstance. Be nice. That boy/girl that picks on everyone at school, may be bullied at home. Be nice, please.

9. Try and find a way to give back to the universe. You are blessed with a life of privilege, don't take it for granted.

10. You are special, you are special, you are special. Please make sure you let everyone else you love that              they are too.

Tiny prods

Here I am again, bathing your eyes with my thoughts and opinions, if you choose to take that bath. It's been awhile. A looooooooong while (your eyes must be filthy! ;)). I've missed taking this time for myself and intend to reclaim it. I can't being to explain how much I enjoy writing. I don't even think I knew how much myself, until I began to re-read previous posts. It's a freeing experience. It's tearing down walls and allowing everyone to see what/who/why you are. I am many things and I've only begun to scratch the surface.

If you know me, you are aware that while I am not a religious person, I am very spiritual. I can't seem to tie my beliefs to any one discipline and find myself drawing from many.  One of my strongest beliefs is that we continue on after we pass. How can we not? Humans are made of energy, which never ends, just transfers to something/somewhere else. You may disagree, that is your prerogitive. I have had no formal experience with the paranormal. That is to say, nothing that I can directly attribute, with difinitive proof, to someone who has passed. I can say, with sincerity, that I have encountered situations where I struggle to find reasonable explanations for what has occured. There is no need to go into detail, as these happenings have no real signifigance to anyone but me. They centre around my life and the people who have left it. They are tiny, simple things. Moments where I will hear a noise, see a slight movement out of the corner of my eye, or (and this is a big one) feel a drop of water on my hand in an otherwise dry environment. Suddenly, my mind is filled with them. Not always the same person, but generally her. (you will know who if you know me) They are almost like tiny reminders, like "Hey, wake up...I'm here" I have recently been instructed to pay attention to these tiny prods. I am attempting this, rest assured. I just wish I knew why and what exactly to pay attention to. Perhaps I will in time. Or, on the other hand, maybe there is nothing to understand besides the reminder that they are with me always. Either way, and whether or not you believe I am nuts, I am grateful to know, if only in my heart, that I am never alone.  

Whiners, complainers and A-holes

I enjoy perusing our local buy/sell/trade sites. You never know when you might run across something that you need, for a price that blows your mind. I also list on them myself from time to time. Nothing works faster to move an unwanted item into a new home than social media!

Recently though, a certain site has started to become more of a bitch/whine/moan arena than a "hey, I have this for sale, wanna buy it?" one.
If you are curious, the site is called the Stoke list. It is an extremely successful page & not just for the buy/sell aspect. It is also a superb place to get news about goings on in our community out to a larger audience.

Now to my main point. One of the features of this page is that it allows you to post anonymously. Is this a problem? you may ask. Normally, I would say no. I actually prefer that you are given the option of whether or not you want to list your name along with the item. Things stay a little safer that way. E-mails are sent from the site and re-routed to your personal e-mail so no one ever actually has your information unless you decide they need it. Unfortunately, along with this anonymity, you are bound to run into those wonderful people who decide to use the site as their personal verbal diarrhea forum. Oh and be complete dicks while doing so.

It amazes me how someone could have such obvious deep seated opinions about something, while at the same time not have the balls to attach their name to their convictions. Currently, I am referring to an ongoing debate about grass length within city limits. I will not go into detail as it would take WAY too long to explain the whole situation, but the gist is that one person has a problem with someones lawn. Their main beef is that it is overgrown and unsightly. This person even went as far as to say it looked like a "crack house". Obviously this person strongly disagrees with the lawn being uncut. His/Her post brings on many more on the same topic, some in agreement, some in defence. Slowly the debate becomes angry. Eventually, someone who actually lives in the house offers a rebuttal. It is not rude nor angry, she is simply trying to defend her and her family's choice of living. Please note, she has included her name. She has stated something she believes and owned it. Kudos to her. The reply to her post comes as this

 

Well Hello
Let’s not pussy foot around the whole point is you have encroached your lawn on to city property, and make stink when they try and look after it. The land around your house is owned by all the people of Revelstoke!!! Me being one of the 8000 people DON’T LIKE IT.
Then the others with your “just be nice”. I am being nice; I am just stating my opinion and the facts and then letting others look into it. Then they can make up their own minds. And maybe take an interest in their town.

Location:

City Land

Please note, still no name, no ownership. It is simply a snide and snippy response, with no gumption ie: courage; spunk; guts.

I have no particular investment in this issue, cut your lawn or don't, I don't care. My point is, whatever it is that you may have a problem with, if you ever feel the need to go out and complain, rant or rave about it, have enough pride in your opinion to stand behind it. Don't "pussy foot" around behind anonimity.

Sincerely, Beckie Campbell

Get outta my way!

Yesterday, bought a second hand bike trailer = :). Today, rain = :( Tomorrow, hopefully sun and an amazing ride along Revelstoke's very own green belt = :D I NEED to get out, I NEED to get moving and I NEED to quit snacking.

A wise woman once said, "The only one standing in your way is you!" While this was something I was already well aware of, it is the one thing that keeps resonating with me over and over. I find myself thinking it at least once a day, usually during my morning "I-have-nothing-to-wear-that-doesn't-make-me-feel-terrible" ritual. Sometimes, if I am having a particularly crappy day, it will creep up mid snack. One thing that is becoming all to apparent is my need to get the F outta my way and get healthy while doing so.

I have started to make some conscious choices about my diet. Cutting out eating after dinner has been one of the hardest. I like to snack. It is not a hunger thing. Maybe boredom? Perhaps a leftover oral fixation from being a smoker? Whatever it is, it's not healthy. When I do snack, I try to find something that is a least beneficial. My favorite right now is banana chips with cranberries mixed in. Mmmmm. Now if only I could get portions down...

Physical activity is another story. I don't sit around all day by any means, but it's not like I'm some sort of aerobic bunny either. My biggest issue in this department is knowing where to start.  Being back to work is at least adding some much needed variety to my movement. It occurs to me that while I am sitting here making the excuse that I can't figure out the best time to begin a routine, I could be doing just that... Now obviously 11:30 at night isn't the ideal time for a workout, but you get my point.

So, dear readers, hopefully tomorrow, with my new bike trailer, the bike I will borrowing and my wished for sunshine, I will quit making so many damn excuses and get out of my way. Here's to happy, healthy, harmonious me! Give me a call if you want to join in ;)